


The Corporate Ladder (Is A Bitch To Climb)

by ClassicPlastic (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, F/M, Hetalia Ancients, I'll add more tags as it goes on, M/M, celt and Britannia are divorced, celt is kind of weird and distant, focusing on the ancients really, gaul and scandia are an item, gaul is a hoe, germania just wants some quiet, iberia is dead inside, let your father lIVE, portugal is a little shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-01-10 21:04:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12307767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ClassicPlastic
Summary: If all of your ex-husbands e-mails automatically get marked as spam, you might miss something important.This is the worst goddam thing I've ever written ok don't read it





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I should be studying right now.

Some people adore mornings. The birds chirping, the sun rising, air heavy with the scent of dew on the grass and fresh brewed coffee. Mornings are peaceful, serene; the whole world just waking up. There are some people in this world who find no greater joy than in sitting outside and watching the sun rise with a warm cup of tea. 

These people are the privileged few. 

At least, that's what Alicia Kirkland thought to herself as she fumbled with her blaring cellphone. 

You see, dear reader, Ms. Alicia Kirkland had five children all between the ages of seven and seventeen, and all of whom she cared for by herself. Alicia had been doing this for nearly five years when our story starts, having split from her husband in a mercifully clean fashion when their youngest was but a toddler. Leading this sort of life for nearly five years, one would have grown accustomed to late nights and early mornings. At least, you would assume so, right? 

Wrong. 

Every morning Alicia woke up just as bleary-eyed and exhausted as she was yesterday, one day older, and, perhaps, one day closer to 'losing it' so to say. 

Which brings us to where we are now, watching a thirty-eight year old woman attempt to silence a cellphone without opening her eyes. 

30 seconds of fumbling, grumbling, and bemoaning later gives us Alicia slugging on her robe and beginning the trek to the kitchen as if she were making her way to the gallows. (Actually, it was less of a trek and more of a short walk, for, you see, it was a fairly small house, as a single office workers pay can only do so much.)

Alicia yawned as she put on the coffee, much to tired to even consider directing it into her elbow. She didn't stand around and wait for the coffee to drip, however, choosing instead to make her way back to her bedroom and begin a routine that, at this point, was ingrained into her muscle memory.

Wash the face, brush the teeth, comb the hair, do the exact same makeup that she's done for what must be year. Alicia had memorized these steps so thoroughly, in fact, that she could allow her mind to wander, and trust her hands to pull up ashy-brown hair and apply liner around pale green eyes. And that is exactly what she did. 

It began with thoughts of work. There were several complaints from warehouse workers about unsafe conditions involving rickety shelving, along with one from her good friend Alfonso-a tall Spanish man with dark eyes that often seemed to scream 'I crave the sweet release of death'-about the downstairs receptionist making inappropriate comments to him. 

There was a meeting at two o' clock, and she'd have to pick up seven year old Arthur from primary school and take him shopping with her. The rest of them-10 year old Dylan, twins Aaron and Charlotte, both twelve, and 16 year old Allistor-could be trusted to get home by themselves. 

Alicia was pulled from her musings by the heat of the glass coffee pot on her hand. Apparently, she had not only finished her routine, but also dressed and come back downstairs, all without realizing it, and, astonishingly, without injuring herself. 

The coffee was bitter, and probably would've scalded her throat if she has poured it any sooner. She drank to the sound of movement upstairs. 

On the dot of seven o' clock, Charlotte came loping down the stairs like a Shetland pony. Ginger curls were already flying from the french braid snaking its way over her left shoulder, and her freckled face was stretched into a smile much to bright for so early in the morning. 

"Morning, Mum!" she chirped, dropping a piece of bread into the toaster. Alicia hummed out a response and took another sip of coffee. Charlotte seemed to take that as a sign to continue. 

"I threw some pillows at Aaron, but I don't know if he got up. Do you want me to go and get him? I think someone finished the cereal yesterday but put the box back in the cupboard. We have a history test today, but I'm not worried. We're talking about World War One, and I think I understand it pretty well, but-" 

"Charlotte." Alicia cut her off. 

Charlotte smiled apologetically. "Sorry. I just get really excited!" 

"I know, dear," Alicia said, setting her coffee cup on the counter. "It's not that I don't want to hear what you have to say, it's just very early."

Charlotte opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by her twin walking into the kitchen, bleary-eyed and yawning. 

"Mornin'" he mumbled, then took a seat at the table and buried his face in his arms.

"I heard you were still asleep." Alicia said, by way of greeting. Aaron didn't respond. 

Alicia leaned back against the counter. Any minute now, the three remaining boys would come tumbling down the stairs like an avalanche. 

Three, two, one, and...

Allistor came rushing into the kitchen, a slender novel held high above his head like a trophy. Dylan tumbled in after him, cheeks flushed and green eyes bright. 

"Give it back!" Dylan exclaimed, hair still mused from-probably-a short wrestling match upstairs, and the ensuing race through the house. 

Allistor reached up dropped the book on top of the refrigerator, showing his open palms in response to Dylans childish glare. "I don't have anything!" he said with a grin, then went to busy himself with making a bowl of cereal. 

Dylan looked at his mother pleadingly. She sighed and retrieved the book, handing it back to him. 

"Keep better track of your things," she said, smoothing down his dark hair. 

"He took it!" Dylan said, pointing at his brother. 

Allistor smirked into his bowl "Hey, finders keepers."

Alicia turned to address him, but was hindered by the sudden presence of a small child hugging her waist. 

"Shi-" she made to curse, then cut herself off. "Arthur, dear, you need to stop sneaking up on me like that."

Arthur merely tangled his left hand into her blouse. Alicia gently pried him away, and instead handed him a piece of toast (featuring a thin layer of strawberry jam, all Charlotte's doing).

Arthur took his breakfast without fuss and made his way to the table. 

 

After a few more minutes of bickering, Alicia began ushering her children towards the door. 

"I want everyone out of here in thirty seconds! Dylan, do you have your book?" 

Dylan nodded and held up the volume. 'The Bad Beginning: by Lemony Snicket'. Interesting. 

"Good. Aaron," she said, turning to the boy. "Don't forget your brother." She did not want a repeat of the first day back after winter holiday, when she had received a phone call from the neighbor-a sweet elderly man called Mr. Jacobs -who was very concerned about the fact that he hadn't seen Arthur come home with his siblings. Apparently, Charlotte and Aaron had forgotten to make sure that Arthur was behind them. Soon afterwards, as she was rushing home, Alicia had gotten a call from the primary school. Arthur was perfectly fine, they said. Evidently, he'd wandered off to a patch of trees by the school, to speak to the 'monsters'. By then, he was sitting in the headmasters office, waiting for his mother to come pick him up. 

"Alright!" Alicia called, and truly began getting them out the door. "Charlotte, good luck on your test; Allistor, behave yourself." Allistor rolled his eyes, but didn't talk back. "Dylan, be more careful, I don't want to see any more grass stains; Arthur, dear, don't wander off again, ok?" 

Arthur nodded, then hopped down the steps and took off at an awkward, backpack hindered run, to catch up with Charlotte. 

"Aaron, wait," and she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "You'll call me if you feel sick, right?" 

"Yeah, will do," he replied, then began dragging his feet after his siblings.


	2. 12:00 pm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never forget to check your e-mail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alicia-Britannia  
> Alfonso-Iberia  
> Gennie-Gaul  
> Mr. Beilschmidt-Germania  
> Romulus-Rome

Alfonso was staring blankly at his computer when she walked in.

“Working hard, I see.” She said as she sat down. He shrugged, and then traced the rim of his coffee cup once, twice, three times, with his left pointer finger before taking a sip.

“I haven’t put more than ten percent effort into anything since 1997.” He said. Alicia raised her eyebrows. “You were nineteen in 1997.”

He inclined his head towards her and smirked. “Exactly.” Alicia huffed out a laugh and rolled her eyes. Her computer was taking its dear sweet time to recognize her password.  

 

 

Mr. Beilschmidt conducted meetings like they were in the goddam military. He stood straight as board while he spoke about ‘efficiency’ and ‘time management’ and other such things that no one besides himself really cared about.  Gennie leaned in to whisper conspiratorially as he turned to face the whiteboard.

“He’s looking awfully stiff today, isn’t he?” Her accent rolled the L’s out into something lovely. Alicia leaned over her shoulder and answered in a tone just as school girlish. “Quick, let’s pass a note and see if he notices.”

They both giggled. Alfonso shot them a look that said ‘I know what you’re on about’ from across the table, then nodded in the direction of Romulus, a sales associate, who was staring at their boss like a lusty teen.

Mr. Beilschmidt turned around, white board marker still in hand. “So that’s about what I need from you all this quarter. I think that’s feasible. Any questions?” When no one answered, he set the marker down on the conference table and made for the door. “Great. Get to work.”

Gennie stood and popped her neck the moment the door closed behind him. Alfonso went around the table and rested his hand on the back of a chair. “They’re fucking.” Gennie said.

“Maybe Romulus is just horny,” he replied. “Y’know, the old ‘horny for your hot boss’ trope.”

“No, they’re fucking.” Gennie said, and took a seat on the edge of the table.

“Wait, you think Mr. Beilschmidt is hot?” Alicia asked. “Are _you_ two fucking?”

Alfonso rolled his eyes and gave her a monotonous, two-syllable laugh for her troubles.

 

 

 

Alicia and Gennie met up again in the break room.

“So,” Alicia started, tearing the top off a sugar packet and dumping it into her coffee. “We’re still on for drinks tonight, yeah?”

Gennie took a breath through her teeth and looked at Alicia guiltily. “Sorry, ma belle, I’ve got plans with Erik.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah…” At least she had the decency to be sorry about it. “I meant to tell you. Guess I just…forgot?”

“Well,” Alicia said, and took a sip of her lukewarm coffee. “I guess we’ll just have to go have fun without you, won’t we?”

Gennie smiled. “I guess you will.”

Alicia sat down next to her at the small table. “How’s it going with you and Erik? You seem pretty happy.”

Her smile turned into a full, Cheshire Cat grin. “I’m always happy when I’m getting dicked down.”

Alicia rolled her eyes. “Really, though, how’s it going?”

Gennie let her grin fall back into something more earnest.  “It’s good. He’s…he’s a good guy.”

It was Alicia’s turn to smile. “He’d better be.” She said, and nudged Gennie with her elbow.

Gennie nudged her back. “You don’t have to worry about me, Ally.” She said playfully. “I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.”

“I always worry about you,” Alicia replied. “You have a history of dating absolute dicks. Remember that guy in uni?”

Gennie huffed out a laugh. “I was eighteen!”

“He had a _ponytail_ ,” she implored. “Any guy with a ponytail is bad news.” She gave her a light shove on the shoulder. “And he had a weird bird.”

“I just dated him for the bird, honestly.” Gennie said, and laughed again. Alicia laughed, too.

After a few moments, Alicia said “Well, I have children to feed,” and stood up, making sure to grab her (now cold) coffee.

Gennie rapped her blue nails on the tabletop, but didn’t stop smiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did no one tell me Sebastian Stan was in The Martian? Was I just supposed to figure that out on my own?

**Author's Note:**

> I rewrote this bc the original first chapter was like 2 paragraphs of straight up garbage


End file.
